Social Mores Or Peeing My Pants

Mores:

1. the fixed morally binding customs of a particular group
   
2. moral attitudes
   
3. habits, manners

One morning I went work early to present a 7:00 AM seminar. I was coffeed-up and needed to pee, but the maintenance guy was cleaning the women's room so I used the men's. Like I said, it was early and there was little to no chance that a guy would walk in, but I was a titch nervous and was prepared to sing-out should the door open while I was in the stall. I'm not particularly rule-bound. I don't expend a lot of energy trying to“fit in,” nor do I care too much about what people think of me. So my unease at using the men's room got me thinking.

Last January I spent a week in Maui (there's a whole story there, but it doesn't pertain) and while there I took an early-morning snorkeling/whale-watching tour. There were 10 people on the tour and we cruised out on one of those low-slung motorboats with air-filled sides and a flip-down ladder in the back.

We did a little snorkeling in first part of the ride but most of it was spent looking for whales. During his spiel, the tour-guy said that if we had to pee, he'd stop the boat and flip down the ladder so we could hang on it, half in and half out of the water, to do our business. There were no takers.

I'd had a large cup of coffee and I did have to pee. I decided I would wait until the next snorkel-stop. The morning grew late, my bladder slowly filled and my discomfort became acute. I had to pee so badly that it was ruining my enjoyment. I couldn't chat with my fellow tour-ists, couldn't dig the feel of the boat soaring over the waves, couldn't savor the smell of the ocean or the feel of the sun on my face.

We were all still wet from our first snorkel and I decided to just pee my pants. I figured no one would notice; it was either that, or do the public urination thing.

No matter how hard I tried I couldn't do it. I couldn't pee my pants.

My bladder was as full as it could be,the pressure was amazingly painful and I'll be damned if those social mores weren't more powerful than my biological need. I was flabbergasted.

Finally I gave up the ghost, told the guy I had to pee, swung off the boat, hung onto the ladder and emptied my bladder into the ocean. As I dragged myself out of the water, relieved and slightly abashed, there were three other people, standing at the back of the boat, waiting their turn.

I wonder if they tried to pee their pants too.