My Son Says: Christmas Conversation

"We're getting a Christmas tree today."

Toby winces, "Aw mom, no! Not a Christmas tree!"

"Yes. Today."

"Mom, last time we got a tree the dog ate the glass Christmas bulbs!"

"We don't have a dog now and we're getting a tree. A small one."

"Mom! We don't do holidays, remember? We saw The Grindhouse and got Jesus Christ Vampire Slayer on video last Easter."

"I don't care. Brother John and his girlfriend, Athena, are coming for Christmas, and B*** doesn't have a place to go. We're doing Christmas, and we're getting a tree."

"Oh, god. Does that mean you're gonna cook too?'

"I might." I say with as much dignity as I can muster. "And we're going to the mall today."

"Oh my god, we're going Christmas shopping too?" Toby puts his head down on the table, shaking it from side to side. His hair falls dramatically around his face.

"Yes, and we're going to wrap presents and put them under the tree."

He raises his head, meeting my eye intensely. "Can we get a statue of Buddha to put under the tree?"

"Of course."

"How about Shiva? And Ganesha, Krishna and Kali?"

"I know of a shop we can get those at today after we get the tree. Maybe we can find a menorah somewhere."

Toby wanders off to his bedroom to get dressed.

Yep, it's Christmas time at the C**** house!